After London Thoughts
So.. this has been pretty tough. Pretty sad. Pretty amazing. A lot of things.
Right now the Games are done, and it is sort of sinking in. It was an AMAZING experience, in SO many ways.. but I came for more than the experience, I came for medals. I knew it was going to be tough, and I knew there was a chance I could medal in everything or nothing. But I didn’t really expect to come home empty handed. Sure, the bad health and antibiotics played a huge role… I wasn’t expecting that either. It is what it is. I did everything I could. Busted my rear end off the last four years, and had the craziest most intense year of my life. So focused and doing EVERYTHING to try and be perfect in my preparation for the Games… I think I was… at least I can’t think of anything I could have done better.. and I think a lot. So now it is just dealing with the emotions of all this. In order to have this sort of intensity, it requires a lot of emotion invested, and so when it goes, it feels pretty low. I mean… I miss it. SO much… The whole thing was just an amazing experience… So I’m sad its over, but I’m also sad it wasn’t better… I think the best way I described it was that “it’s like Christmas. Which is always amazing. But when it is done there is a sad and depressing feeling when it’s over. And on top of that, I didn’t get what I wanted, and I was such a good boy all year.” :) I really think that’s the best analogy I can come up with…
I am going to be taking some time.. down time, to relax. Be by myself. Sort of let things settle in my head. I’m anxious to take some time off, but wont have serious time off for a bit. I am also anxious to work harder, but to also have more fun training again.. that is, without requiring all the intensity to be ‘on’ all the time. I’ve been training nearly every day for almost 12 years now… its a part of me and who I am, and it feels weird being away from it too long… but it also feels amazing to eat whatever I want for a bit!! I got McDonald’s yesterday and it was SO weird. I felt SO guilty, and I didn’t think I could do it. I just stared at it on the table without opening… kind of hilarious. It was good, but couldn’t eat the fries… lol.
Okay, to get away from the depressing for a bit!! So, the closing ceremonies were spectacular. Really. I am a fan of Coldplay’s music, though have never been a fan of their live performances.. but I have to say, this was an AMAZING show, and they actually played reeeaally well. I found these closing ceremonies better than Beijing’s and the Olympic ones the last two years too. Great seats, right in front of Rhianna. Oh, and as I was leaving Coldplay had to jump out of the way because neither of us were looking at almost ran each other over head on. It amused me.
But anyways.. pretty amazing ceremonies… really… if there is anywhere you can check it out, TOTALLY worth it. The whole Games in general was amazing. My own performances aside.. TRULY an incredible thing to be a part of. Different from Beijing in a lot of ways, and while they couldn’t match Beijing in some ways, they definitely surpassed in many others for sure. The way the whole country came together, the feel and energy and enthusiasm everywhere… the media coverage, the volunteers, the organization, the representation, the athletes.. everything. Amazing.
I think with all the stuff I’ve gone through this year, the amount of energy it has taken to BELIEVE in the positive, and use my mind over matter to come out on top, has been so exhausting. Even though it was worth it, and what I had to do.. i just can’t be bothered to try for a bit. Just allow myself a few days to be down and upset. And then hit the reset button and move forward again.
I can’t thank everyone enough for all of the support.. through this whole thing. The last two weeks, and the last four years, and the last twelve. I really can’t put into words for every person who has been there for me and supported me along the way.
And again, of course thank you to my major sponsors, Inter Pipeline, P&G, and Aeroplan for helping to get my family there, Westowne Mazda for giving me a car so I could train this year, the Shift Fitness centre for basically taking care of me, and of course my coaches Amanda Fader and Wayne Burke… Draft Wheelchairs and many more.
More to come…